It happens with me so often. I land in situations where I find people frowning at me. The reason for such reaction is my liberal comments or opinions on issues that many consider as sacred. The list of sacred topics are religion, caste, values, relationships, lifestyle etc basically anything under the Sun.
In India we often find people stuck in conversations/ arguments where one is trying to prove how one religion’s practices are better than others, the customs followed by one family is more enriching than of the others and so on. In short we are trying to set ourselves as benchmarks of goodness. Many consider it to be healthy or are more accepting of such trivial conversations; however when I land in similar situations I beat myself up for even participating in it. What keeps going on my mind is- Goodness why did I even make an effort to pacify!
There is an invisible struggle going on amongst of people to prove them as superior on grounds of caste, family background, lifestyle practices etc. When I sit to think, I realise how much energy one wastes to prove something which has no bearing at all when it comes to lead our day-to-day life. All this energy combined and put to constructive use may result in wonderful ideas and deeds.
We fail to realise that as free individuals we have all the right to decide, choose, reject, and accept anything we want to. Then why at all enter such vicious arguments that have no empirical evidence and are merely based on our conviction. We don’t have to strive or work for religion, caste, family background etc, we are born in/ with them so what’s point of flagging it like an academic degree or a successful project!
The reactions are more astonishing when you happen to argue with people coming from similar background. Is it the result of inferiority/ superiority complex or is it the guilt of not having/ having more? Why is it so difficult?
It is this very situation I would like to put emphasis on. It is never about being right or wrong. However our conviction in events, lifestyle, experiences, surroundings and other facets of life that we have led has had a deep impression and impact on us. It may also be termed as 'identifying' oneself with similar situations.
When we start identifying ourselves with them a bond develops and we end up becoming obsessed and possessive about it. Any remark made on those lines instigates us to label the person with difference of opinion as 'unreasonable'. We tend to cherish our experiences in life to an extent as to deny what others have experienced as irrelevant or semi-precious. It is this attitude of not letting go that mostly drives two people into arguments and disagreements. It is in such situations that we should bring to use our faculty of sense and evaluate our thoughts. When two sensible people are in a conversation it is expected that both get equal hearing and rational understanding. It should never be the case where one sits and starts labelling the other person as 'wrong'. There is nothing 'wrong', each one has his/her own personal experience and conditions to deal with it. When put on a scale of measurement, one may sound a lot harder than the other but that doesn't make the other as 'wrong' or unworthy.
It is good to identify ourselves with something. It gives a sense of belonging however it should not be about labelling others as wrong; it should be about you 'cherishing' it.
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