A few days back, when I accessed by email account, I had an email from a friend requesting me to bring along a few political magazines when I next visit Nepal. For the brief time that I have known him, his love for Indian politics is so evident that all I could do was smile reading the names of the newspapers and magazines he had requested. My smile ceased when I read the name “ Tehalka” . I wanted to scream at him and say “ Don’t read it. It’s run by Tarun Tejpal.”
Tarun Tejpal is everywhere; on 24X7 news channels, in the English and Hindi dailies, on social media and even on Google. For every Indian, overnight he has attained the status of a celebrity . Not that he wasn’t a well known figure in his own fraternity of journalists even before. Ladies and Gentlemen, please put your hands together for Mr. Tarun Tejpal former Editor –in Chief of Tehalka Magazine. Mr. Tejpal embodies everything that is wrong with the patriarchal mindset, not just in India but the world over.
Tarun Tejpal has been accused of sexually molesting a Tehakla employee on two occasions in a moving lift in Goa. Sexual assault or rape is a heinous crime in itself. What Tejpal did escalates the heinousness of this crime by mammoth proportions because it has been committed by a man who propagates women empowerment through his magazine and has been instrumental in exposing cases of sexual exploitation by many influential men . Clearly not the case of practice what you preach in so far as Tarun Tejpal is concerned.
Any sexual assault including rape is much more than the violation of the autonomy of a woman’s body. It is about the male privilege of exercising control over everything that belongs to a woman, i.e. her property, her children, her rights and her body; the rights that a man can claim solely because of being a male and then get away with it. That’s exactly the “much in demand by the Goa police” man did. First sexually assault a woman in an inebriated state , not once but twice and then tender an apology calling it a “ Lapse of Judgement” on his part and offer to step down from his position for six months.My heart is filled with gratitude for Tarun Tejpal for acknowledging that it was a” lapse of judgement” from his side and for taking full onus of the situation. What’s next for him? Go grievously hurt a person and aplologise saying he misjudged the situation. I am amazed at the support that his “ owing up to the mistake” has generated. I beg to differ and be the voice that says, “ he has not been man enough by apologizing to the girl in question.” No man or woman with integrity would do a thing like this in the first place. Even if we agree, purely for the sake of a thought exercise, that he indeed did a very noble act by apologizing , why then did he contradict his statement once it came to light that the lift where the incident took place does not have a CCTV surveillance camera.
It is no surprise that a society which exhibits deep rooted bias against women, every statement and action of the victim in this case is cast with a heavy cloud of suspicion. Panel discussions are taking place on major national television channels as to why did she take more than a week to file the complaint. Even more hilarious is the accusation that the statement of the victim is politically motivated. It is nothing but blaming the victim and trivializing the issue in the name of politics while encouraging the “culture of silence” that envelopes gender relations in our society.
One of the common greetings in South Africa when roughly translated in English means “ I see you”. Such incidences would keep happening till we refuse to see and acknowledge women as separate individuals having complete rights over her being. No one, absolutely no one has a right to violate her at all. Women , even today are packaged as “property” for men to be snatched and devoured upon at will. We are not women friendly in our approach. For us, sexual harassment is purely physical. Sexual harassment goes beyond the uncomfortable touch. It is when you feel a male gaze at you, when a sexist remark is made under the garb of a joke, when your colleague makes an unwanted pass in his drunken state. In short, it is anything that makes a woman feel sexualized and uncomfortable.
I am often told by people around me that the gender equations are changing albeit gradually. That such deep rooted discrimination takes centuries to change and I must not hope for a revolution. Change happens only when one dares to go against the tide and challenge the status- quo and not accept or mirror the reality. Every revolution starts with an idea that is the antithesis of the existing situation. It begins with a small step. In relation to gender parity it would begin by realizing that an averted gaze means NO, pleading to stop means NO, tears running down the face when the lips say nothing means NO, I need to go means NO, you are my boss means NO, hesitating and taking a step back means NO. Back off , f*^K off , stop it all mean NO. Till this happens, I can only hope that one day there would be no need for any one of us to elaborate upon the various nuances of “NO” because a woman would be looked upon as an individual and not a sexual object which any male can claim at his will.
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