THE YEAR THAT WAS

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I am not much of an enthusiast when it comes to celebrations. Be it a festival or welcoming a new year.  Beginning of yet another year is just a change in digits for me. A new beginning in my opinion can be made any time of the year.  Just like I’m not big on celebrations, I do not believe in “New Year Resolutions” or reflecting on the year gone by. The print, electronic and social media is anyway over-doing the whole  “ 2013 in snap shot”  theme.

This said, the year 2013 has indeed been a unique year for me in many ways. Things that I thought could never happen in my life miraculously happened, my perceptions about life and relationships were challenged and I was proven wrong . More importantly, the year, that soon would be gone, made me appreciate what I have and made me believe in the old saying “ Never say Never” .

The Final Acceptance: When I lost my best friend in July 2009, I thought I would never recover from the shock of his untimely demise. From the day he passed away , each day was a reminder of  immense possibilities that would never be realized,  of the laughter and the jokes that would never be heard. The mere thought of Ryan brought tears in my eyes. I had lost my only ally, my 4 AM friend. How would I ever come to terms with it. “Time is a great healer” did not mean anything to me till 2013 arrived.  I can’t pin point the exact moment or an incident but the year brought with it an acceptance that my bestest buddy is not with me physically and never will be; yet he’ll be with me at every step of my life. This acceptance and realization brought with it gifts that I thought were lost forever, my smile and the will to live my life to the fullest. I know that wherever he is, my buddy is watching and feeling very happy for me.

There is never a “No Entry” for new friends:  Every single time my faith in friendship has weakened or waivered, something has happened to re-instil it even firmer.  I, till, recently thought ( and thought foolishly) that I have enough friends in my life and neither do I want more friends nor I have the inclination towards undertaking a time consuming effort of forging new relationships. Little did I know  that the person who controls this world  was about to play a practical joke on me. Over the course of the last 10 months I became friends with two people who now I  term as “ friends for life”. Each of them has made be   realize that friendships can be forged at any point of one’s life.  Although I  have  numerous “friends” from all across the globe, there are only a  few that are close to my heart. My biggest myth is that friends need to share the same cultural ethos and linguistic ability to be able to understand each other well. How wrong was I. Neither of them share the  “so called”  cardinal elements of friendship I have just mentioned.  They are not from  India ( though both are living right across the border in Nepal) and their culture is very different from what is quintessential “Indian and South Asian” culture. Despite all these differences that I  have so long perceived as hurdles to friendship were proven to be non issues as I came to become friends with both of them.  What I have learnt from the 10  months is that laugher, jokes, trust and love for your friends does not recognize any borders. All you need is an open mind and friendship would weave its magic around you.

It’s never too late to begin a new phase:  The best thing about being a human is the ability to change and start something new whenever your heart desires. This was what  I was told by someone many years  back but never believed it. Aren’t your habits, opinions and skills defined by the time you were 30?  The month of August saw me picking up the pen to write an article on the insistence of my friend from across the border. I never ( the word is such a constant part of my vocabulary) thought I could write. Ever since August I have written about ten articles on varied issues for www.sharing4good.org , including one that went viral! The anger, the agitation and the restlessness of my personality has now found an outlet. I can express myself without being violent.  Writing has become such an integral part of my life now. It keeps me sane amidst all the insanity that the world has to offer.  The best thing is I’m not as bad a writer as I believed I was. If I can write, so can anyone. Just pick your pen up and let the emotions flow.

Listen to your heart: This is something that I was never convinced about. Listening to one’s heart makes one weak and I wasn’t weak. I was strong ( or so I am told by my parents). But sometimes it’s the best way to do things in life. Somewhere in the middle of September, I resigned from my then current job which I had joined in February.  Money and a senior position lured me to work in an area where I felt like a fish out of water. The day I resigned, I listened to my heart (and my friends). I had no job and very meagre savings. I had never believed in miracles but it happened. I got something within 1.5 weeks that I totally love now . Listen to your heart, it never lies.

When I look back at 2013, all I can see are important lessons that I was chosen to be taught. Life lessons that will remain with me forever. Everything I said  “ No” to , happened to me. The underlying lesson  “ Never say Never” and always be positive, even when those around you are saying no.   

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