After having been in the US for seven weeks, with a certain ease I am integrating myself back into being in Nepal. As I stepped off of the plane on May 21 in Kathmandu I wasn’t at all sure how my body would feel after being in a world of straight, mostly pot hole free and litter less roads, sidewalks which those with a disability could easily “walk” on, drivers providing pedestrians with the right of way, traffic lights and cars following traffic rules, little dust, grassy front yards and lots of blue sky. But as I exited the plane I felt totally comfortable and didn’t have the same culture shock that I did for the first two weeks while visiting the US.
The contrast between life in the US and Nepal is stark. However, I saw things in the US which maybe I hadn’t “seen” as well before. An American friend told me that you will see more homeless people sleeping on the streets and under bridges, as well as more litter. In fact I did see more of these things in the Los Angeles/Seattle areas, more people wearing huge amounts of clothing and pushing shopping carts filled with plastic bags full of all of their possessions. One can avoid this type of sadness in the US, looking past the homeless, but for me it was obvious.
My daughter’s flat is in a primarily Latino area of Los Angeles, which is quite vibrant, a bit messy, vendors selling items on the streets reminding me a lot of Kathmandu. There were many food trucks, a relatively new addition to the Los Angeles landscape, selling a variety of Latino foods. As more people immigrate to the US, especially Los Angeles, the fabric has changed, giving the area more of a “developing” country feel. I also witnessed individuals selling items, although illegally, on the Los Angeles metro something which I was quite surprised to see.
Of course, there is also the other side, West Hollywood, Beverly Hills, the hill areas overlooking Los Angeles with multi-million dollar homes, large yards, swimming pools and busloads of tourists wanting to see a movie star in Hollywood. There are expensive shiny cars and outdoor restaurants jam packed with people, the stores overflowing with products providing a myriad of choices, nothing resembling the many “mom and pop” stores in Kathmandu.
I thoroughly appreciated the infrastructure that I saw in the Los Angeles, San Diego and Seattle areas. The maintenance of most people’s homes, the buildings in the cities, the roads were just superb. I observed a lot of road work on the Los Angeles freeways, and although this was a pain causing traffic back-ups, in the long term the road system will continue to be maintained and improved.
I love the focus on customer service in the States, with the customer being number one, whether one is in a store, a restaurant, a bank or any other type of institution. On more than one occasion, my mother ordered something in a restaurant and didn’t like it. The wait person took it back without any discussion and didn’t charge my mom. I also enjoy the parks and recreation facilities, top notch, well maintained, but this is very much in line with a focus on people and their needs.
One of my goals in living overseas was to have more of an appreciation for my birth country and on some level I do. But then why would I have culture shock on coming back to the US and feel so at ease in coming back to Nepal? Given that I’ve lived overseas for the past five years I feel as if my world has been literally turned upside down.
I love the fact that I can be on a bus in Kathmandu which is unsafe and jammed to the hilt, not know where exactly to get off and have a young person tell me that it is their privilege to guide me and that I’m welcome in Nepal. It’s the fact that I can stay at my Nepali friend’s homes and be treated as if I’m family and be called uncle. My preference is to spend my time with the sweetness that I find the Nepali people have to offer.
Yes, the dust, roads (although I’ve seen lots of improvement in the short time that I was away from Kathmandu), pollution, unsafe buses and seemingly, at least sometimes, lack of manners (whatever that really means) does at times give me pause but the fact remains that Nepal is deeply embedded in my heart and offers me opportunities that I could never have dreamed of. Nepal (as well as my former life in India) has taught me how to be a decent human being, how to serve and live on less, how to be flexible and not as controlling about things, to understand words such as sustainability, facilitation and capacity building. Nepal has taught me about the power of a smile even without a common language.
I visited with two Nepali friends in California, both of whom have lived in the States for some time. One lives near where I grew up in the San Fernando Valley, the other near San Diego. Both live as Americans as I’ve come to live more like those in Nepal.
Since coming to South Asia my life has changed. Maybe that is why I have culture shock when I visit the US. I will always be an American and I would never change this, but I have taken to heart the lives of those of us living in South Asia. My last will and testament is quite clear, that if I become no more while in Nepal or India I want my ashes spread in the Ganga. There is nothing more to say.
Add new comment