Dear Dad,
When I made this very first piece on the potter’s wheel, I didn’t know that it would be your fathers’ day present when you were 96 years old. I really love the piece and how it came out especially the inside with the flowers, butter and dragon flies. I know that I have a lot to learn in ceramics as in life, but as your first child I think that the first potter’s wheel piece by me should belong to you.
This piece is all about you. It’s round and seems to be well proportioned but mostly has lots of love inside of it. It’s not at all easy to make a piece on the potter’s wheel especially when one is jut beginning. It takes tremendous focus, patience and effort to make something that others will like. It’s kind of like your life. You’ve brought a lot of love to this world just by being you. The piece knows that it isn’t easy for you to be 96. There are lots of things that used to be easy that now take a lot of time. In many ways it’s sad but in other ways you’ve persisted and kept going no matter what has occurred in your life. So much heartbreak but you’ve been quite resilient. You remain passionate about many things and that is as the piece knows, keeps you going.
The magic that you’ve brought to the world is also inside this piece. We all bring our own bit of magic, but yours has brought happiness and love to many. You are well respected and people like to be with you. What more can you ask for? The piece wants you to continue on this path for a long time.
This piece can take you to wherever you’d like to go. You can always climb inside and feel the warmth of the circle around you surrounded by lots of love. It’s always there and has always been there. You are cherished and loved and this goes on forever, no matter where you are.
I love you lots!
On behalf of myself and my sisters Deanne and Robyn and her husband Michael and Norm’s grandchildren Sarah and Daniel, thanks for being here today to celebrate Norm the Mensch the ultimate Dodgers and Lakers fan! I know that this is a somewhat somber affair but I also hope that you will indulge me in having some fun recalling my dad’s 97 wonderful years of life.
Before we get going a few things-Please if you so desire take one of the ceramic pieces that I’ve made. Due to my dad letting me live with him during my cancer treatments I discovered the ceramics room at Casta del Sol in April 2025. I’ve become quite passionate about ceramics. The pieces aren’t perfect, maybe a little heavy as I’m still learning, but they are fun.
Before I get to my dad I want to give some thanks-I want to thank Robyn and her husband for taking the time to live with my parents for a number of years and help them to have a wonderful quality of life. During this time I was growing SoCal Adaptive Sports and didn’t really have the bandwidth to spend a lot of time with my parents but was there when I could be.
I want to thank my son Daniel who had a very special relationship with his grandfather! Besides me Dan is carrying on the tradition of rooting for the Lakers-Dodgers!
In the last year of my dad’s life he had a number of caregivers-Lucy, Katie, Cheryl and Melvin who dad came to love and them to love him. These were all really special relationships. Caregivers really help all of us and without them life would be much worse. His house cleaner Veronica and her employees also came faithfully every two weeks and was especially needed when I was living in dad’s home because I’m pretty messy.
Hospice took care of both my mom and dad-Gemma is an angel, answering our texts and calls at all hours. Hospice nurses, Diane, Olena and others saw my dad on numerous occasions, dad was given showers by hospice employees and Michelle the social worker also helped. I’m simply amazed by the work that Hospice employees perform.
And then there is the Heavenly Home in Mission Viejo which is a very unique hospice home in southern California. Dad was able to move in five days before he actually went to his heavenly home. Michelle the Director, Denise, Shawna, Raymond and others ensured that dad’s last days were spent in peace and with loving care. I would really encourage you all to donate to both the Heavenly Home so that more of these homes can be built and to hospice which offers a very humane way to moving to whatever is next.
Of course, there is also Rabbi Marcus and his wife Bassie and all of their children and this congregation which made my parent’s lives that much better. Donate to Chabad of Mission Viejo so that they can grow and also because I feel that Rabbi Marcus is one cool dude although he does need more variety in his wardrobe. So tonight, my dad and I are going to help him with his wardrobe.
There are many others who I’d love to thank and you know who you are!
I’d also like to acknowledge that today is the 46th anniversary of the death of Jessica Wolfson who died at 29 from leukemia. Jessica is the sister of my longest friendships with Beth and Bernard Wolfson who I’ve known for about 57 years. Beth was also friends with my sister Deanne who you’ll hear more about.
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about my dad, his life and how he impacted me. Life is never easy, in fact, I feel that the suffering and grief that we all must go through, at times, is too much, but somehow, we are resilient. In our case we’ve been fortunate to have a very large, extended family that has helped us through these times.
Norm went through a lot of grief in his life, his mother Miriam dying in 1943 when he was 14, his daughter Deanne dying in 1984 at the age of 25, his wife passing away in 2022, with two of his younger brothers, Jerry and Alan, his older brother Lenny and his wife Sonny and his sister Aunt Sis and her husband Harry passing on before him, dad’s father Louie and his mom Bella, as well as good friends and other family members. There were also my mom’s family members her parents Louie and Minnie and her sister Marsha and husband Meyer, their son Terry and sister Bea and husband Morrie. These are all people that I was able to spend time with. Fortunately, some of our elders remain Uncle Pat and Aunts Linda, Sheila and Rose. As with all of us, dealing with the passing of loved ones is very difficult. But I always saw Norm as being very resilient. He continued to live his life for 97 years, which to me is remarkable.
Initially, when I was thinking about the word remarkable and my dad, the word had little meaning for me in terms of his life. But the more that I thought about this the more I could see how my dad’s 97 years have been quite remarkable.
The first thing that I thought about was Norm’s 67-year marriage to Simone. Having grown up in their home I know that this wasn’t always easy, but is any marriage any partnership between two people easy?
My dad’s relationship with my mom was about love and commitment for one another. My dad had to deal with many difficulties around my mom, especially her health, but he always helped her throughout their lives together. His love for her was infinite and he did whatever he could to ease her burden. When Deanne died, he supported Simone to get through on a daily basis. I’m not sure if he put his own grief aside in order to take care of and put my mom first but I wouldn’t be surprised.
Norm did what he could to help others. He was a Mensch! There is no doubt about that! One example, was the Mission Viejo chalk festival which he started with a friend raising thousands of dollars for local school art programs. For many years he was the President of the Democrats at Casta del Sol where he and mom lived for some 32 years. His kindness, love and humor touched many.
Norm impacted me a lot. I remember the times that we played catch together, developing a connection through sports. A few weeks before he passed Dad actually left me a voicemail asking me to play catch with him. He said you might not want to do this but let’s try anyway. All that I could do was laugh picturing him trying to catch a ball while holding on to his walker. Although I’m sure that he would have surprised me and I would have been the one dropping the ball. As I think more about that voicemail, I picture that scene at the end of the movie Field of Dreams where Kevin Costner plays catch with his dad as a young man. I’m happy to share the voice mail with any of you if you like.
We would also play tennis together; being the hot headed, competitive person that I was as a teen I remember the multiple times that I threw and broke my tennis rackets because he made a good shot which I missed. Of course, I always wanted to see how many pieces I could break the rackets into but unfortunately, they don’t usually break into pieces. I remember being in the Y Indian Guides with Norm and the time that someone hit a baseball directly at his glasses which broke. Yet he continued to bring me to meetings and support my love of sport.
Dad instilled in me a love for the Lakers and Dodgers. When my dad watched a game he was so engrossed that the walls of the house could have been falling down and he wouldn’t have noticed. One of the things that really drove me nuts when I watched a game with dad was his constantly asking his phone what the score was, although he was sitting in front of the TV. I was like dude what are you doing? For many years we attended UCLA football games as we had season tickets with some friends. I remember dad consoling me after I got picked off of base during a little league baseball game because I had no idea what was going on. I wanted to quit but he was very patient with me. By the way in two years in little league I never got a hit but I could catch a ball in the outfield.
Of course, we had our differences but dad always showed up, he was always there no matter what, that is except when he was watching his beloved lakers or dodgers on TV. I remember my mom screaming Norman you have to do this or that but he was watching a game and totally ignored the world. He always expressed his concern for all of us. And I think that is something that made him remarkable.
I think that my dad struggled with finding a career that would suit him something that he could be really passionate about although he did love working for my grandfather and uncle selling large plastic and stainless steel kettles/drums, all used for manufacturing a number of items including making bagels. This was a really good job for him because he was so outgoing and friendly and maybe this was what he was born for. I do remember getting lots of free bagels from a place called Western Bagels in the San Fernando Valley. At one point I remember my dad telling me that my beloved uncle Alan wanted me to be part of the family business by opening up a bagel store in Las Vegas with the stainless steel kettles. I had this picture in my mind of me with a faux glued on hairy chest, the top three buttons of my shirt opened with some gold chains hanging off of my neck selling bagels. Fortunately, I chose a different path.
I don’t know that Norm was able to fulfill his dreams because he was always much more practical given that he had a family but that was one of dad’s strengths. I don’t think that dad put himself first, as he always thought about how he could help others. This is something that I’ll always remember about my dad as he instilled this in me, my sisters and others.
Dad had a special relationship with his father which showed me how to have a relationship with him. I’m not sure that I did as well as my dad did with his father but he showed me a good model. He also had special relationships with his brothers and sister and their wives and husband and also his nieces and nephews especially my cousins Mark, Andrew and Howard and Phyllis and Rick. As mentioned earlier dad had a really special relationship with his grandson Daniel. Recently Daniel said to me that his grandfather was more than a grandpa that he was a friend. Dad loved his granddaughter, Sarah with all of his heart.
In the movie/book Hamnet, after Hamnet dies, Will and Agnes his parents, are wondering where he has gone. Probably many of us wonder about this when someone we have loved has died. In my dad’s brother Jerry’s book, who was someone that I loved deeply, as he was only 7 when his mother Miriam passed, he talked about what it might be like to see her again and what that experience would be like.
In my imagination I see Norm and Simone and Deanne together with their extended family members, their siblings and parents. I see my dad being able to talk to all of those Dodger and Laker greats and being able to play baseball and basketball with them maybe even stuffing the 7 foot 2 Wilt Chamberlain or stealing the ball from Kobe Bryant or NOT. But most of all I see everyone that he has ever come into contact with very joyful and happy to be with him once again sharing all of the love that my dad shared with all of them and us throughout his life.
You all know the Beatles song The End with the lyrics “And in the end the love that you take is equal to the love you make”. Some of you might know the Snow Patrol song In the end with the lyrics “in the end there’s nothing more to life than love is there?” I would say that Love is what my dad’s life was about and I know that we can all feel this and bring it forward to others to make our postage stamp size piece of the world a better place.
Thank you again for being here to honor Norm!
